School Days

We had a busy week. Tyler started school on Thursday. Tuesday we had open house and both Jordan and him seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Thursday was hard to see him go, but when all was said and done he seemed to have had fun. They learned that God created the world. He came home with a chalk drawing on a black piece of construction paper with a label that says "God made Tyler". For the first time ever I looked at one of his drawings and thought..."I wonder what he was drawing". I cant believe he is old enough to be in school. Next year I will be sending both my babies off to school. Where did the time go?

Tyler wanting to get out and go...



Tyler is ready to go off to school...



Tyler saying "Chool" and Jordan playing Shy



Happy he is almost there, Time for my Baby to leave me...

They're BAAAAACK

What is back you may be asking... My panic attacks. I'm not sure why though. Last night I was cooking dinner and I started to have trouble breathing and felt as though something was pushing on my chest and a shock of electricity was shooting through my body. That episode only last a short while but after the boys went to bed I had another one, I woke twice in the night and this morning was woken by a BIG one. I couldn't breathe I was shaking, and crying I had hot and cold flashes. It lasted for 5 mins and then it was gone. I have no idea what has started these up again. I have been doing such a great job keeping them under control. The only thing that is changing is my baby is going off to school on Thursday. Thats right Tyler starts school. The only stress in my life right now is that I have my trip to Cleavland to see my Dr in two weeks. I guess that could be it.
Here is a little back round on that for those that don't know. My Chrones has been flaring up and I had a colonoscopy here. The Dr felt I needed surgery. I started back on Remicade and waited it out. I have been feeling great since starting the Remicade so I decided to call my Dr in Atlanta to see if he suggests going through with the surgery or coming there to see him. To my surprise he said go see my Dr in Cleavland for the second opinion. So I have it scheduled. The weekend of 14-17th Im taking the boys with my mom and going to see her family in PA. While Im there we are going to take a trip to the drs and see what he suggests. If surgery is needed my stay will be extended my sister will fly out along with Mark if he is needed to watch the boys. Im really thinking its not going to be needed though. Like I said I have felt great.
But if I cant get rid of these panic attacks it could quiet possibly cause a flare up.

WOW Where have I been?

So much has been going on. I have been in slumps here and there. Tyler has been going through alot with his epilepsy. He had an EEG that came out normal so really that didn't tell us much. It just meant that during that 30 mins he didn't have any activity. He is now needing and MRI. During the MRI they will have to use a sedative so that they can get him to be still. Fingers crossed though that it shows something. I have read and heard that if his epilepsy is genetic (which we are pretty sure its not) it wont show anything. Jordan has grown so much. He is now saying 6 words...DaDa, hey, bye, yeah, uh-oh, uh-uh. He is following in his brother's footsteps and climbing like crazy. Today he climbed into his crib and not 2 mins later he was behind me on the floor. Thats right he climbed out of his crib. And it wasn't a fluke b/c he was misbehaving so I brought him to his room and put him in his crib and shut the door. Well not 30 seconds later I hear him trying to open his door. Oh yeah and he is now able to open doors too. Where did my baby's go?

Its been forever

Well sorry I have not posted in forever life has brought me down. I have been so busy with the boys new schedule and other events. Being so busy has also made me sick. I lost my voice. Mark enjoys that though. Both Tyler and Jordan are loving camp. Tyler's speech is coming along great. I love being able to have him communicate. Operation potty training is coming along great now that he can say "go potty". Although that can get annoying when he just says "go potty" so that he can get in the bathroom to play. Jordan is taking after his big brother and has begun his monkey days. Just the other day I put Tyler in his room for a time out. Well a few seconds later Jordan went into his room and shut the door behind him, I thought "I guess he thought he needed a time out", a few seconds later I hear him fussing so I went to check on him and he somehow climbed into his crib. I couldn't figure out how he did it. Well later on that day he decided to show me. He climbs on his changing table (up the shelves) and then into his crib from the top of the changing table. I'm so in trouble with these two monkeys. So as you can see I have not really had much energy to post a blog in a while. In fact with all this I'm surprised I still have hair and have not ripped it all out.

London Bridge is Falling Down

OK so its not the London Bridge but the McTeer Bridge. Where I live there are 2 ways off the Island. The Downtown bridge (Woods Bridge) or the McTeer Bridge. Well thank yous go to a captain of a barge for hitting it. That is the bridge I most use to go to the doctors the hospital, Walmart, playgroups, just about everywhere and so many others use that bridge too. Now the only way off is going on the Woods Bridge and all the way around. The past couple days the city has done a very well job of finding the best solution for this. On weekday mornings from 5:30-7:00 am they have made the Woods Bridge open 2 lane one way traffic. So that has made the drive less of a hassle for those going to work. Yesterday however you could not get onto Lady's Island (where I am) during those times. Today however they opened the McTeer Bridge for one lane one way traffic going onto Lady's Island during the hours or 6am-11am and 1pm-7pm. The traffic is only for passenger cars and pickup trucks that do not have trailers attached. They go over the part of the bridge that has the least amount of damage to the support beams. Yes that's right beams. 5 support beams are damaged.
But UMM I already have bridge anxiety do you think I'm going to drive over a bridge that has damaged support beams? Even when the bridges are fine I go over plotting and planning my escape route in my head in case the bridge collapses. Yes I already roll the back window down and put my arm rest up the center tray down (so I can get to the boys fast) and have my hand on my seat belt to click it. I have it perfectly planned I have done all but actually planned a drill for it. I'm going to invent a floatation device for cars. That all you have to do is push a button and your car will shoot out a flotation so that it can float in the water in situations like this.
But now back to traffic. I spent 2 hours in traffic the other day in a drive that should only have taken me 10 mins. This morning I spent 30 mins just getting down the road to get into traffic to cross the bridge. I also feel so bad for the police officers there job just looks so boring. They have most of the policemen standing on the roads directing traffic. I was thinking of baking cupcakes and driving along to give to them. (I know I'm silly) But I do appreciate all that they are doing to keep the traffic moving as much as possible. Its so hot out side and they have to be in the heat all day.
The moral of this is that you don't really appreciate something until its gone. The day they actually get the McTeer bridge fixed I'm sure the whole city will have a celebration for it.

Why do I beat myself up

So most of my dear friends know what is going on. I'm going to spare the others the details. But basically DH and I are at a bit of a crossroads. Nothing to bad. Its mainly me. I just hate drama and it seems that once again drama has entered our lives. Its not his fault but at the same time it is. I tend to surround myself with good people. I have an awesome judge of character and can in just a few minutes of meeting someone tell you if they are a good person or not. About 99% of the time I'm right. If I don't find you to be a good person then I will choose not to hang out with you. DH on the other hand chooses to be nice and befriend everyone. It has bitten him in the ass way too many times but yet he still continues to give everyone a shot. There have been several times where someone has back stabbed him but yet he continues over and over to forgive them. I know that should be a good thing but at times when that character can be destructive to your family don't you think you should choose to not be friends with that person? Again its not his fault he didn't know his being kind was going to bite him in the ass but it did. And yeah its not his fault so why do I get mad at him and draw back from him? Shouldn't I be proud of that he befriends everyone and has such a big heart? Why is that the one thing I just cant stand about him and wish he would learn not to have? Why does everyone see that from him and use it against him? Most of all why do I let what they do bother me and I end up beating myself up about it?

Weekend blues

As a SAHM I don't get the day off b/c its Saturday. In fact I hate Saturdays. The park is crowded, DH could be home but he goes fishing, the roads are filled with other drivers, its just not fun. I remember before I had kids I loved Saturday. Even if I had to work, Saturday was my favorite day of all. Its funny how life changes. I never thought my life would change so drastic when I had kids. Yesterday I was asked what is a necessary luxury for me? Before I had kids I had a ton. I always had to have my nails and pedicures, I always had to go tan (even if it was an airbrush tan for a quick tan), always had my hair done, always always needed my expensive clothes and makeup. But now that I have kids I don't see a point. I don't have the time to go get my nails done, or get a tan, I don't have the energy to get up and spend 2 hours doing my hair and makeup. So if I cant do that then why do I need the expensive clothes? Saturdays use to be my day to do all that. I would get up and go work out come home shower go tan then get my nails done and then go shop. Now I'm lucky if I get out of my Pajamas. I get up do laundry all day clean the floors, scrub the toilets, change diapers, the closest I get to having my hair done is getting it ripped out by the boys. So while I listen to everyone else get excited about the upcoming weekend all I do is sigh and think "oh great Saturday"

Do you hear what I hear?

So this morning I took Tyler for his hearing test. He passed, but I'm not so sure I would have. Maybe its just getting over a cold but I'm not too sure I heard all the sounds coming from my right side. I have always had ear infections when I was a kid in fact I still get them as an adult more then I should. My right ear feels clogged lately since getting sick. (You know the feeling you get when on a plane). I have never had tubes in my ears b/c my mom did not see much point in it since my Uncle had tubes and still had many ear infections. Ear infections in my family is scary. My uncle Tommy passed away at the age of 29 due to Spinal Meningitis that was brought on by an ear infection that did not go away. So as you can see there is a very good reason to be paranoid. But living here in a small town in a new place I hate going to the Dr. Its not the Dr that I grew up with. He knows nothing about my history. I feel like I'm crying wolf all the time if I'm continuously going in for one reason or another. But I am a walking health hazard. I always joke about being a crack baby since something is always wrong with me. Well after Tyler's test I called my mom and joked that maybe something was wrong with my hearing. She then went on to say that she has had hearing problems (which I knew about) but the Dr's have told her that her hearing problems are hereditary. So maybe something is wrong with my hearing. Maybe I'm not paranoid. But if it is the same thing as my mom then that is just one more thing to add to my list of health issues. HMMM maybe I should interrogate my mom about this crack baby thing. (no that is a joke I know my mom didn't do any drugs when she was pregnant) She didn't ever even smoke or drink, which is more then I can say about my dad. But I do think its time I call the Dr and get my ear checked out before I cause any damage.

Where has the time gone?

I cant believe 7 years ago I was getting ready to graduate High School. Now I'm a wife and a mom of 2. I look at Jordan and think "where did my baby go", yet alone to look at Tyler. It seems like it was just yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant with Tyler. Actually to be honest it seems like it was just yesterday I was walking into high school for Govt and Econ class. And talking about the upcoming election between Bush and Gore. When was it that life started flying by? Will it ever slow down again? Before I know it Ill be watching my kids graduate from high school, then college, get married and have babies of their own. I don't want my babies to grow up, I don't want to grow up. I wish I could just freeze time to where it is now.

Cold Cold Go Away

I have been sick for over a week now. Its finally at the end of its course but now all I'm doing is coughing. Last night I felt so bad b/c I could tell it was getting on Mark's nerves but there was not much I could do about it. Both the boys are still sick too. All day long I'm chasing after them wiping their runny noses. I'm not even too sure where we caught this stupid thing. We went to Atlanta to visit my parents and no one was sick there, and when we got back the next day the boys were sick. I just hate it. I hate being sick. I want to take the boys outside to play since the weather has been so nice, but I don't want them out there sick. I just cant wait for this cold to finally be gone.

The Morning Rush

Being a SAHM is a job. I wake up get dressed just like everyone else who goes to work. The only difference is as soon as I step out of my bedroom my day has begun. First I go straight across the hall where I get Tyler out of his room for the day. He then runs and gets his little brother Jordan. Then its off for diaper changes. Soon after I'm in the kitchen making breakfast. I get to drink my coffee while the boys are sitting down eating breakfast. Then the rest of the day consists of following them around cleaning up after them. Sometimes I feel like a broken record "no Tyler", "no Jordan". You think by now they would get that they are not allowed to climb the fireplace or the counter tops, to stay away from the dishwasher, don't climb behind the washer and dryer. Yes my boys do all of that and even more. I sometimes think their goal in life is to drive me crazy. But as soon as I see their smile or hear their giggle I cant help but smile back and give them hugs and kisses. How can I not?